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Crying Child (2011)

by Thomas Kivi

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1.
He left home for the world outside the window. The wind blew the willows and he followed far from his pillow and bed. He had a headache from the same old space--despite the chains his will was strong. He'd been looking through stained glass for far too long. The path was clear but the fog was ever so deep. Those he met on the way never stayed, never strayed in step or speech. Either you're coming or you're going--deafly marching to a song's steady beat. They'd been looking through stained glass for far too long. Houses marked the roads but the gates were tall. He climbed, fell, and crawled--he knocked on doors that were always locked. She looked into his face only to remark how wrong the colors seemed. She'd been looking through stained glass for far too long. Panes see the sunrise like eyes that haven't closed all night. Though a mist veils roof and trail, his smile isn't a stranger's guise. Being neither here nor there but forever in between doesn't mean you can't belong. You've been looking through stained glass for far too long.
2.
I miss you sometimes; some is more than enough for me--because I can't say the things you need to hear or be who you deserve to be. I lay up some nights--not feeling the comfort I chose to lose; but in my dreams you touch my heart and it breaks every morning. I'd sleep all day and night if I could choose. Stone erodes and my heart sheds like granite As it drags behind my mind as it roams Home was your love that I decided to forfeit-- Now I'm losing my head and the rest that I own. You're seeing some man but I know he's got only half of a whole. You gave angelic love and I gave only admiration and unknowingly stole your hallowed soul. You've come from some place--there with you I can only repent. Now you cry and curse my name for how I left it all when I owe so much more than what I spent. Stone erodes and my heart sheds like granite As it drags behind my mind as it roams. Home was your love that I decided to forfeit-- Now I'm losing my head and the rest that I own. I think as time flies, my heart (as it softens) doesn't burn--It only withers in the sun, where your love was a shadow, I'm losing hope that to your shade I could return. That's why the moon shines--because he wants to know how loneliness is won. I'm sure that we are both most alone and aching, and I'm the one most sorry for all I haven't done. Stone erodes and my heart sheds like granite As it drags behind my mind as it roams. Home was your love that I decided to forfeit-- Now I'm losing my head and the rest that I own. Now I'm losing my head and the rest that I own. Now I'm losing my head and the rest that I own.
3.
I lie here in bed and you might lie here too You breathe just like anything (I breathe just like you) This feels like something special (then again, it's nothing new) Life is extraordinary: Evolution. I look in the mirror and my face is painted there The eyes that I see out of reflect my tired stare It feels like there's something behind them--a point of view (but from where?) Explain the things that scare you: Evolution. I sleep in this place that I'll never understand But I dream of a world where purpose guides my hand They die here every morning for this is Darwin's land (Don't you ask questions) Evolution. (Don't you ask questions) Evolution.
4.
Darling there's only so many mornings And this man won't ever outrun the sun. I close my eyes and I waive my tomorrows-- No guarantees when the day is done. Darling there's only so many mornings And restless nights are all my patience affords. A song unsung if I just had you near me But searching fingers all they find are these three chords. The dawn will come and the clouds will pass-- I see the mirror in every hourglass. So why do even the lonely hearts need a fair warning? Darling there's only so many mornings-- I've had all the dreaming that I can stand. This mirage looks so much like the future-- With your eyes in mine we will walk this desert sand. If the stars and that black so great Convince us both we are the reprobate, And if your soul yearns more as your body dies, well: I am your savior and darling: you are mine. So why do even the lonely hearts need a fair warning? May we love before the mourning.
5.
Build a house to crown a future Tear one down to douse the past In a world where much is fleeting Need a crutch that everlasts And time is on your side But we seldom ever learn Time's a traitor in the end In leaving--never to return But don't hang your head in sorrow For now is just a thought away You can't do everything with all of your tomorrows But you can do anything today. A man gets used to anything Of this we all stand accused For every ship in my heart's harbor There are ten my lips refuse The light upon my map Comes from the very sun That will shine upon the treasures Even when the day is done Whether you beg, steal, or borrow Either way you gotta' pay You can't do everything with all of your tomorrows But you can do anything today. Dismay, my friend, is far too easy When you only see October leaves Protection is an age-old practice When you've been told we are all thieves This is it: my only heartbeat These are the only hands I know It's true that no one lives forever It's true that seeds can only grow So to those who sulk and wallow Don't try and dress this in cliche You can't do everything with all of your tomorrows But you can do anything You can do anything You gotta' do something today.
6.
Crying Child 03:41
7.
I carry a wallet, phone, and keys Or is it that they carry me? I'm alone and locked out and broke all about Lost freedom or cruel destiny? There are believers and those who conceive Wielding these cleavers we're all bound to bleed Damned or riteous, your loss I do grieve Maybe someday you'll be there for me. Honesty and kindness were married Until an irreconcilable split For you can't be both good and well understood I'm not sure who's the first one to quit. There are deceivers and those they deceive Hands for these levers is all that we need You may not be riteous but your loss I do grieve Maybe someday you'll be there for me. The stage is ever my footing And life: an ongoing play Where good and bad men are just men in the end There: I just gave it away. A good thing that dies will live on in name Among all the tombstones of evil remains The big picture don't have any edges to frame Love life and you'll die in vain.
8.
Never said that he moved on; just took all the pictures down Her body harbored the demons and his bride's now in the ground A casket is not closure--it's just some out-of-the-way place He knows not to go to the graveyard because he'll never forget her face The FBI was after mother and those weren't the good-ole' days When she hopped that bus to Milwaukee we young sons and daughters prayed "Mary, loving mother, your love we couldn't doubt. The psychiatric ward (I guess) we simply shouldn't talk about." There's a gap between real and imagined and there ain't no fence, no cops You live just by understanding that you can't survive the drop. Either fear or faith it's called--you died in your firstborn's arms At the bottom of bridalveil falls, Mother Mary: be my good luck charm.
9.
Wearing my chains back in '43 There's a sign on the wall--reads that this work will make you free. This labor of ours has taken a toll The bodies are counted as if they're still on roll. Standin' in line as he checks the time One man's duty is another man's crime. Naked I stood as the guard I asked, just before we walked--just before the gas, "Is it you that I come crying to when the water is cold and deathly clear?" He said no, "you ain't got nothin' to fear. And anyways: I just work here." Between earth and sky just shy of AD the king of Jews was writ for all to see. This crown of mine's worth more than gold But roseless thorns, you know--they can't be sold. Said, "Give unto Caesar your nickels and dimes" One man's duty is another man's crime. Just then that line shown in my face-- Just as those nails were hammered in place, "These poors souls--they know not what they do," As my words are now printed in a rosy hue, And the soldier said as he raised the spear: "Man, I just work here." Now I'm bothered as hell and it's hard to say why Won't you please sign and date so I know that you comply? There's honor in the nine-to-five-- The family's alright, not sure my neighbor is even alive. Giving more to Caesar than nickels and dimes One man's duty is another man's crime. For here I stand with my apron in hand-- Won't you try our meatloaf? The burgers are bland I play at nights for meager crowds But at least there--I can think outloud Because come lunchtime I'm just a thoughtless gear, Because man: I just work here. Yeah, I just work here.
10.
Lighthouse 03:33
Treading from the lighthouse down towards the shipless shore Witness to one silent night, though a quiet million fore To wonder at the tide that rises, falls, but never sleeps Ever the rain-kissed surface but untouched: the darkened deep. Seasons condemn as makeshift all his walls of wooded frame The town feigns permanent with her so nurtured shape and name And even he then felt like leaves of some late autumn breeze Once the green of summer trees--loosen, fall for winter's freeze. Homeward bound beneath the sun--now the gauntlet of the stars So tiny on their blanket black but as giant as they are far Nature's dirge his jaunt disturbed like an uninvited stranger So futile is his door's defense to this sensed predestined danger. Up the stairs to chambers there to rest with no repose In lamplight the words escape his lips, "alone, we with our woes." But his wife awoke and spoke, "thy lighthouse--ships lost woefully, I am the lighthouse and you: the ship. This life, it is our sea."

about

PRESS:

"[Bridalveil Falls] is the saddest song I've heard this year and quite possibly the prettiest... With a spare accompaniment and a confiding vocal, the tragic story pulls me in like a gloomy indie movie."
-Craig Shelburne, Country Music Television

"Anything (Whistling Song)" placed in CBS show Salvation (S1, E11) in fall 2017.

"deceptively simple folk-pop songs that should appeal to fans of Bright Eyes, Bon Iver, and Chris Koza's Rogue Valley."
-Ross Raihala, St. Paul Pioneer Press

“Honest and unassuming, Kivi's lush harmonies are a largely acoustic blend of folk, bluegrass, and traditional Americana.”
-89.3 The Current

Runnersup for "Best Minnesota Albums of 2011"
-City Pages

"It's not that often that Radio K features country, but with Thomas Kivi's heartfelt debut full length album it's a hard one to pass up."
-Radio K

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released February 8, 2011

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Thomas Kivi Madison, Wisconsin

Singer-songwriter from the Upper Midwest whose reflective lyrics drift down a musical river of Americana--folk, blues, jazz, bluegrass, country, and rock'n'roll music.

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